Some Thoughts

I imagine the epitaph on my grave bearing the words “Here lies a man who was very lucky”, in Arabic and English of course. I am lucky to have had the chance to get an excellent education, lucky to have found, against the odds, the wonderful human being who became my wife, lucky to have such a lovely, happy son (knock on wood), lucky to have been blessed with many talents, including that for art as well as a talent for words, for working with numbers, and the capacity to look at things from a slightly different perspective.

I figure this epitaph sounds much better than another possible alternative: “was this man an artist pretending to be a businessman or a businessman pretending to be an artist?” which is something I have asked myself. I thought this a very poignant question given something that Kurt Vonnegut said; “be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be”. Scary thought isn't it? Nonetheless I have come to the conclusion that the answer to this question is yes on both counts (an artist and a businessman). I’ve finally come to realize after pondering the right brain / left brain dichotomy that, at least in this case, the dichotomy doesn’t really exist; I’m looking for a Marketing Analyst job because, I now believe, ‘data’ is a medium just like paint or any other, to be used creatively to build stuff with. A good artist is not afraid to take something apart and start over, and insofar as ‘analysis’ is a ‘taking apart’ it is as much an artistic ‘right brain’ activity as it is a ‘left brain’ one, or vice versa.

Being back here in the states, esp. being on my own has been extremely interesting. Something about America has always impressed upon me a feeling of profound loneliness, or alone-ness. Of course this is to be expected since I am a stranger here, but I also feel that when I am in America I am simply able to see the world in a more honest way. Perhaps I’m seeing it a bit too honestly at the moment, because without my wife and son around and without a job to go to I have been thinking that humanity, all of us, are merely hurtling rapidly to our death, busying ourselves along the way with all sorts of things, like acquiring stuff (houses seem to be a favorite in Seattle). Actually buying a house in Seattle is a dream of ours, btw, and I hope to have it realized someday. I mean, what else is there to do?

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